By Jessica Rapp Irwin, OTR/L

Founder of Rooted in Routine and mom of two

As the parent of little ones, you know that mornings can often feel overwhelming and chaotic.

There’s so much to do and fit into a short period of time - waking up, brushing teeth, getting them dressed, eating breakfast, and getting them out the door to school on time. (Plus, you also have to do all these things for YOURSELF too!)

Toddlers and preschoolers are notorious for stalling, resisting certain tasks, and not wanting to follow your directions. Your child’s brain, particularly the areas that control executive functioning (things like planning, decision-making, impulse control, and focus) are still under major development in the early years. This means that they will struggle with all of these types of skills, making it feel so hard to get through the morning.

So if mornings are a difficult time of day in your home, you’re not alone! As a pediatric OT and mom of two, I have been there. I also know that there are certain things you can do to help make your morning routine go a lot smoother.

Here are my top 4 tips for how to make mornings go more smoothly in your home: 

1. Prepare the night before

As parents, we all know that there is so much to get ready for each day. Whatever you can do ahead of time, do it! This may mean packing your child’s lunchbox, putting extra clothes in their backpack, leaving their backpack by the front door, laying out your own clothes, etc. Any task that you CAN do ahead of time, do the night before. This frees up so much time and mental space the next morning.

2. Implement a consistent morning routine

There’s a lot to get done in the morning with kids, so doing the same set of steps in the same order each morning can go a long way with minimizing decision-fatigue and overwhelm. Plus, your child’s brain thrives on routine, as they begin to learn the steps and know what’s coming up next.  A predictable morning routine helps your child know what to expect, calming any anxieties and increasing the likelihood of compliant behavior.

Here is an example of a morning routine for a toddler or preschooler:

• Wake up and open the shades (exposure to natural light in the morning helps our mood and energy levels and leads to better sleep!)
• Use the potty
• Brush teeth and wash hands
• Get dressed
• Eat breakfast
• Play time, if time allots
• Use the potty (again)
• Put on shoes and jacket
• Ready to go and out the door!
  

3. Use visuals

Since young children are still developing their executive functioning skills, they often have difficulty sequencing multi-step tasks (such as a morning routine). The best way to help support them in this is to use visuals! Toddlers and preschoolers understand things so much better when they have a visual component. Using a morning routine chart, visual schedule, or visual timer can help so much in making the morning routine go more smoothly.

I love using the Time Timer Visual Scheduler to “show” your child the steps of their routine, with the added bonus of having a visual timer built right in. This works great to help them see each step as it comes up. Plus, they love to flip the cards after each step is complete, which helps increase “buy-in” that they’ll follow directions and willingly move through the steps of the routine.

Feel free to adjust the specific steps of the routine as needed to fit your child and your family. If you have older children, I recommend telling them in advance before making any changes to their routine (or that you’re going to implement one at all, if you haven’t been previously). Give it a few weeks to really sink in but be consistent, as that is the most important part.

4. Have age-appropriate expectations

While there are things we can do to set our child up for success, it’s important to remember that young children are not perfect. They are going to have their meltdowns and moments of resistance - all of which are completely normal. If you go into each morning expecting that the routine will go perfectly, you will probably be let down. However, if you go into each morning expecting that there may be a bump in the road - one step may take longer than you expect or your child will resist a bit - you will feel more in control.

Also, when possible, try to allot MORE time than you think to get through the morning. This helps lessen any extra stress or overwhelm when you feel rushed, which rubs off on your child as well.

I hope these four tips are helpful as you start to think about creating a smoother morning routine in your home. As always, individualize each tip to fit your unique child and your family’s values. And remember - it can take time to see changes when implementing a new routine. Be consistent and don’t give up!

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Looking for more guidance on how to structure your toddler or preschooler’s daily routine? Struggling with specific parts of the day like bedtime, picky eating during meals, or tantrums? Check out my COMPREHENSIVE DAILY ROUTINE GUIDES. These multi-page digital download guides will teach you exactly how to structure your child’s routine and troubleshoot common toddler issues with simple and realistic tips and strategies that work! Grab the 2-3 Year Guide or the 3-5 Year Guide to match your child’s age.